π Coordinates: Denver, CO. πΊπΈ
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π§ Vibecheck: Day 12 of the Warrior100. I feel better than Iβve felt in a long time. The experience is running smoothly, and I return now to one of my favourite vistas: the blank page. Deeply grateful to have you here with me. Enjoy π
βVerily the lust for comfort murders the passion of the soul, and then walks grinning in the funeral.β β Khalil Gibran, The Prophet
The moments before major initiations are quiet...
Bathed in a mysterious silence that is equal parts mystical and terrifying.
The calm before the storm. The quiet spills over the battlefield. The anxious movements on your mat before the ceremony.
Initiation is a test of faith.
There is only one thing guaranteed to you on the other side: you will not be the same.
But what kind of person you become, what experiences you will have before getting there, all of this is unknown. With true initiations, you face the reality that you may not even make it out alive.
This is literal and metaphysical.
Literally, initiation takes you to the edge of your physical limits, gripping your shirt collar as it dangles you over the cliff edge of physicality β forcing you to stare down the void of death and viscerally confront your mortality.
Metaphysically, death is assured.
By design this is what an initiation provides, the death of the current self, and the rebirth of a new self.
Who knows what you will gain? What realms of splendour await you on the other side? What dimensions of consciousness become available to you?
Butβ¦
Who knows what you will lose? What safety mechanisms, what excuses, what personality quirks, what dreams, desires, and opportunities will be sacrificed at the altar of initiation?
Herein lies your dillemma. Herein lies your opportunity.
It is a test of faith. To lose control, fully and completely. To surrender yourself to the forces of the ancient future and allow them to work through you, to work with you, to become you.
The person who comes out on the other side is never the same as the one who entered. Itβs not possible. A mind expanded to new dimensions after an experience can never return to the state it was previously.
There is no going back once the decision is made. There is only forward, only change, only rebirth.
Oddly, and beautifully, when confronted with the gravity of these decisions, potentialities, and opportunities β the psyche begins to restructure itself far before the initiation begins.
Suddenly, addictions and challenges that were once insurmountable are let go with ease. Problems and disturbances that used to boil blood are now effortlessly moved past.
The psyche has no time for such trivialities.
It must overcome its test of faith. To relinquish control, to trust the flow of existence, to commit fully and completely β for this is no oneβs decision to make but your own. No one can force you into true initiation.
As I have written before, true spirituality is sacred suicide.
It is a continual initiation, the death of the locus of identity, and rebirth into greater and greater ones. This is metaphysical hara-kiri, ritual suicide of the samurai.
And make no mistake. The conscious decision to die to oneself is not made easily. But if it were easy, everyone would do it.
We must heed Jung and his aphorism, βbeware of unearned wisdom.β
To give the responsibility, psychic forces, and gravity of wisdom to the uninitiated would crush them. You must demonstrate your faith, perseverance, strength, and commitment. You demonstrate this through initiation.
This is where modern spirituality loses the plot. We are plagued by free-flowing, crystal-throwing washouts. We live in an epidemic of spiritual materialism: the furthest someone will walk the path is just looking the part.
Saying the βright words.β Dressing in the βright clothesβ. Doing the βright activitiesβ. Itβs an act. A psychological mating call in a desperate attempt to find a sense of belonging in a world empty of meaning and character.
My heart aches for them. It is a Way of Being born of Pain.
Little do they realize that the problem they are trying to solve is the very persona that believes they have the problem. You cannot base your identity on the empty shell of a persona.
For only at the death of the small self, the initiation into existence, will you come to be reborn into precisely who and what you are: the endless flow of life itself.
This is a Warriors path.
Much will be asked of you. Much will be taken. But in return, the world will be given back to you, as you.
This is why I train. This is the Way.
The Warrior100 has been incredible so far. I feel better than Iβve felt in a long time. My energy is clean. My attention sharp. My body is getting stronger, I feel it and see it each day. My consciousness is unclouded, unhindered, free. My life is becoming a reflection of my values more and more.
Like a sculptor carving a block of marble, the masterpiece is being refined. Chip by chip, movement by movement.
And this is just the beginning. Many months remain ahead of us. I have 2 weeks of serious plant medicine ceremonies in the middle of this as well.
Iβm not ready for this initiation. If youβre ready for it, itβs too small for you.
The current self should never be able to handle the demands of the greater self. This is why the initiation process must happen, a moulting of identity, to make room for the greater self.
I am not yet ready. But I am willing. I am training. I am growing. I will be there.
My faith is firm. This is the Way.
With love, EB. β©οΈ
Phenomenal. This writing is a work of art
Keep going (being)!